Today I’m feeling pretty fuzzy. It’s a combination of an inability to properly focus on anything with my eyes or mentally, feeling unstable on my feet, clumsy and generally weak, not being able to concentrate properly.
I have still come to work despite having 4 lessons in a row, again. For the second day this week. I wouldn’t normally but I am teaching an induction lesson for the new intake. I have mock speaking exams and to get through each one is taking a lot of energy to fully concentrate. Aside from all the bits of paper on the tiny ‘table’ that is attached to each chair (it’s all placed quite precariously so if I move it’ll all fall to the floor!), I have to really focus on what is being said, what I need to say and when. Some parts are scripted but most isn’t and you can interrupt the student at certain instances if you feel they aren’t answering the question. I also need to think of questions on the spot depending on how they answer so it is a conversation. Not taxing linguistically really but it does require a level of concentration that I am having to find in the depths of my being today. Gone are the days when you can ask the set questions and thats it. You didn’t even really have to listen to the answers.
I wouldn’t mind too much feeling like this but I know that tomorrow I will either feel the same or a little worse. I didn’t go to support my sister’s concert last night because I wouldn’t feel fresh today. Just goes to show that however hard you try at pacing and attempting to help yourself it I know I shouldn’t dwell on this but I need to so I can try to adapt my days accordingly. I might not get it right but then again I might. I won’t know until it’s happening or passed me by.
So for anyone else who is struggling right now for whatever reason, keep going, taking one step at a time. Take a breath and you’ll soon be out of that slump.